For the Love of Sasuke
by Dead Uchiha
Summary: Everything is always the same in the Narutoverse. That is, until Inner Sakura conceives of an evil plan. Will her plan succeed in getting her into Sasuke’s pants? Or will it blow up in her face? Who will win Sasuke's affection? Warnings inside. Wacky
1. Chapter 1

A study "in character". Forgive me, in advance…I couldn't resist. This fic is on something akin to crack.

**A/N:** This fic is rather old. I was going to wait until it was finished before I posted it, but I got half way through chappy 2 and then got to doing something else…XP So I figured I'd post it and see if anyone is interested in reading more before I spend more time on it. Otherwise I guess it could work as a one shot. No pairings yet…except maybe an implied Kaka/Iru XP I think it goes without saying that there is a little self inserting going on…but it is all in the spirit of fun! XD (We are practicing being vapid! XD)

This is unbeta-ed and probably has some mistakes so if you find any feel free to point them out

**Disclaimer:** I OWN NOTHING! I AM NOTHING! I AM A FIGMENT OF YOUR IMAGINATION! (Naruto is a very fun manga by the very excellent mangaka Masashi Kishimoto. He owns Naruto and all rights and whatever and what not and I don't. So there!)

**Summary:** Everything is always the same in the Narutoverse. That is, until Inner Sakura conceives of an evil plan. Will her plan succeed in getting her into Sasuke's pants? Or will the Narutoverse be plunged into chaos?

**For the Love of Sasuke**: Chapter 1: Lather, Rinse, Repeat

Sakura woke up normally, just like every day. She stood before her mirror and brushed her hair, just like every day. When she decided that her hair and face couldn't look any more perfect, she headed to the bridge in town to meet with her team, just like every day.

Stepping out the door, she proclaimed her daily goal, "Today will be the day that I will finally get Sasuke-kun to go out with me!" _'Shannaro!'_

She couldn't wait to see her crush again today. She was certain that he would look just as adorable as he had been the day before, because he always had in the past. Every day, Sasuke looked adorable with his blue Uchiha fan shirt, and his white 'khaki' shorts, and his matching armband…things, and his leg wraps, and his standard issue blue sandals. Said sandals, by the way, looked so much better on Sasuke than they did on any other shinobi, though, she couldn't say why. Even the weapons pack that he strapped to his left ass cheek, and the shuriken holster that he strapped to his right thigh, they looked adorable too. Sakura couldn't help but drool at his adorableness. _'Sasuke-kun! Shannaro!'_

OOOOOO

Sakura arrived at their meeting place, and everything happened just like it did every day.

"Good mooooorning Sakura-ch-yaaaaan!" Naruto looked cheerful and happy, like sunshine, and he had on that 'day glow' orange jump-suit…thing, again today. Sakura thought it looked stupid and wondered why he never changed it. She ignored him and shoved him out of her way, having better things to do than waste her time chatting with the village idiot.

Sasuke was resting his arms on the bridge rail, gazing down at the water with that brooding 'I'm cool' look on his face. Sakura couldn't help but coo at his cuteness. "Ohayo Sasuke-kun!"

Sasuke acknowledged her with a sideways glance and his trademark, "Hn," and then went back to ignoring her, just like everyday.

Sakura was getting tired of it. Was it too much to ask for a simple 'hey' or 'hello' or even a 'how's it going'? Just once? One time, one day, one tiny hint of recognition, that's all she wanted, but alas, no. Today was just like every other day.

Sakura settled in next to Sasuke and shot angry looks at Naruto, who was shooting angry looks at Sasuke, who was simply standing there, looking impassive, just like every day.

It continued like that for about three hours.

OOOOOO

Out of nowhere, there was a poof, and their cheerful sensei Kakashi appeared, "Yo!"

Just like every day, Sakura and Naruto pointed accusing fingers at their sensei and shouted in unison, "You're late!"

And again, just like every day, Kakashi lied about his whereabouts, "Ah! Well, you see, there was this…woman, and she was…and then I…and it was…I couldn't find my mask."

"Liar!" Sakura and Naruto shouted in reply. They knew he was lying. He had to be. He always lied, every day. There was never a day that he told them the truth, ever.

OOOOOO

Kakashi gave them a stupid mission today, just like he did every day. They never got good missions. It was always walking someone's dog, or finding someone's cat, or pulling weeds, or cleaning up trash, or surprisingly, babysitting.

Today their mission went just like it always had been in the past...

OOOOOO

Kakashi watched them while reading his perverted book, Icha Icha Paradise Volume III, which he always carried with him, and always read, every day. Occasionally, he covered his mouth, which was always covered by his mask, with his fingers, and blushed, under his mask, and giggle to himself, just like every day.

Sasuke performed the mission to the best of his ability, as he always tried to do, because that's how a ninja was supposed to do things, and he was a ninja now. Though, he was silently brooding about his brother, Itachi, whom he dreamed of killing. He wondered if Itachi had become as strong as he had become by performing such mediocre tasks. That upset him. He was certain that his elder brother had not acquired the height of their clan's power, and subsequently murdered every last one of them, by (insert random 'D' ranked mission here). Fortunately though, for Sasuke, he had one other thing that he could think about to take his mind off of his elder brother, the revival of his clan. Yes. He would revive his clan one day, and rub it in Itachi's face…after he killed him. He performed his mediocre task, in preparation, for that fateful day…just like he did every other day.

Sakura watched as Sasuke performed the mediocre task to the best of his ability, and in doing this, became totally distracted and did nothing, just like she always had in the past.

Naruto tried his best, but he got jealous that Sasuke was doing it better than him and tried to show off, thus, acted like an idiot, became clumsy, and nearly got himself killed. He ended up being saved by Sasuke, again, just like every day.

"Usuratonkachi." (?) Sasuke was annoyed that he had to save Naruto again today. He wondered why he always felt so compelled to risk his own life to ensure that safety of the clumsy idiot. He hated him, didn't he? He guessed it was all a part of getting stronger, so he could kill Itachi. Yes. He had to kill Itachi. He hated everything except the power needed to kill him. Naruto was no exception.

Sakura, of course, cheered for Sasuke, "SUGOI SASUKE-KUN! You're so cool!" which in turn pissed Naruto off, just like every day.

"Teme! I don't need your help-dattebayo!"

And for the rest of the day, team Kakashi continued to perform their mission, just like they did every other day.

OOOOOO

When the mission was complete and it was time to go home, Sakura decided to try her luck with Sasuke again. She put on her best fake smile and approached her beloved crush. "Sasuke-kun, um, would you like to go on a date with me?"

"No." Sasuke didn't even turn to face her. He just kept on walking. Just like every day. He couldn't be bothered with anything that didn't him getting stronger or plotting to murder his brother. It was nothing personal.

Naruto approached Sakura with his stupid grin and scratched at the back of his stupid head, just like he always did, every day. "I'll go on a date with you Sakura-chan!"

"No! Stupid!" Sakura was in a bad mood so she punched Naruto in his stupid face, just like she always did, every day.

And they all went home alone.

OOOOOO

That evening, standing before her mirror again, Sakura was upset. She didn't know what to do about the fact that Sasuke always ignored her and she was growing tired of trying.

All of a sudden, something happened that never happened before.

Her reflection spoke to her. _"He's gay." _

Sakura was afraid because she was certain that she hadn't said anything, but was also sure that she heard herself say 'He's gay'. "Wh-what?" Sakura gazed into her reflection and questioned her sanity.

"_I said he's gay."_ Sure enough, her reflection had spoken to her. For some reason, she decided to reply to it.

"That can't be! He wants to revive his clan! And I want him to do it with me! Shannaro!"

"_I have a plan that can make that happen. Shannaro," _her reflection grinned back at her.

"A plan? What plan?" Anything was better than being perpetually rejected. Sakura thought it might be worth a try.

Her reflection's eyes narrowed,_ "Tell them all."_

Sakura was still confused. "I don't…understand…"

"_Tell them all he's gay!" _Her reflection shouted, as if it was the most obvious answer in the world._ "Make sure that he'll hear about it."_

Sakura was shocked at herself. "I couldn't do that! That would be a lie because he's NOT gay!"

"_That doesn't matter, shannaro, he's a man. Men don't like it when people think they're gay. If he isn't gay, he'll try to prove it, and if he is, at least we'll know the truth, and we can stop wasting our time! Shannaro!"_

"I-I don't know…"

"_Pay attention to Naruto."_

"WHAT?"

"_You heard me. Tomorrow, start paying attention to him instead of Sasuke." _

"But he's so annoying and stupid!"

"_He's Sasuke's rival. Sasuke won't like it if you suddenly ignore him and go on a date with Naruto. He will want to compete! Shannaro!"_

"You really think so?"

"_Sasuke is arrogant. He won't let Naruto beat him, no matter what. Starting tomorrow, pay attention to Naruto and ignore Sasuke. You'll see. We're right."_

"I—I guess so…"

"_Shannaro!"_

Now that it was settled, Sakura went to sleep and dreamed of Sasuke. Just like every night.

OOOOOOOOOO

End for now…

OOOOOOOOOO

NEXT TIME: Sakura pays attention to Naruto and Sasuke can't figure out what's wrong!

So? Is it worth continuing to see how Sasuke's life can be thrown into chaos by my evil plotting? Or should I scrap it and move on to something else? Pairing suggestions are welcome, in the event that I do actually continue. This fic is supposed to be silly anyway so any pairing might work. Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** No pairings yet…except maybe an implied Kaka/Iru (yeah it's here this time!)XP I think it goes without saying that there is a little self inserting going on…but it is all in the spirit of fun! XD (We have stumbled upon a slippery slope! XD)

Oh! And the song "Too many Puppies" by Primus, is one of my very favorite songs! (Sorry…was listening to it just now…XP)

**Warnings: **Implied **sexual situations**. May contain **spoilers**. (for the Cartoon Network version...bah.) **Naughty language**.

**Disclaimer:** I OWN NOTHING! I AM NOTHING! I AM A FIGMENT OF YOUR IMAGINATION! (Naruto is a very fun manga by the very excellent mangaka Masashi Kishimoto. He owns Naruto and all rights and whatever and what not and I don't. So there!)

**For the Love of Sasuke**: Chapter 2: What's wrong with Sakura?

Sasuke arrived at the bridge first, as per his usual routine. He'd come to know instinctively the way things would go.

Naruto would arrive next and sleepily drone out his usual, "Yoooooo…" to be polite.

Being prepared, Sasuke would reply with his well practiced, impassive, "Hn," and a small tilt of his head.

Naruto would then become irritated about whatever it was that he always became irritated about and mumble, "Teme."

And they would stand in silence until the point at which Sakura would arrive and Naruto would shout:

"Gooood Mooorning Sakura-ch-yaaan!"

And Sakura would shove him out of the way and proclaim with all her giddy enthusiasm:

"Ohayo Naruto."

Wait…What? That wasn't supposed to happen!

Sakura's sudden shift in routine had rendered the usually loudmouthed Naruto completely speechless. He just stood there wide-eyed, gaping, unable to reply.

Sasuke was certain that it must have been some kind of cosmic accident and continued waiting for his annoying daily greeting.

It never came.

OOOOOO

Finally, Kakashi arrived at his usual time, with his usual poof, and Sakura and Naruto again pointed and yelled their usual chide:

"You're late!"

And Kakashi lied his usual reply:

"Ah! Well, you see I had this thing…and there was flogging…and a dolphin…"

"Liar!"

And they all went about their stupid mission.

Sasuke was thankful. Order had returned to the universe.

OOOOOO

Unfortunately, Sasuke found that he couldn't quite focus on his hate properly as he performed his meager task. Something just felt wrong and he couldn't figure out why he was feeling so strange. Normally, Itachi was more than enough to maintain an acceptable level of hate, but today? Sasuke found it difficult to think of Itachi at all.

He, for some reason, couldn't stop thinking about Sakura's odd behavior. Why hadn't she annoyed him this morning? He was angry because he shouldn't have been thinking about Sakura at all. He was supposed to be hating Itachi, not wondering if there was something wrong with _her_.

Sasuke looked up, frustrated, certain that he would find Sakura staring at him, consumed with his every action, ignoring her task, being useless like she always was, and he was right…sort of. Sakura wasn't looking at him today. Today, Sakura seemed to be captivated by…Naruto?

Naruto struggled with the task that he'd taken on that was apparently more than he could handle. He wouldn't let that bastard Sasuke beat him again today. He couldn't! Because for some odd reason, Sakura was paying attention to him today! Every time he looked at her, which he often did, she was staring at him and he didn't know why, but he felt an enormous pressure to perform well today since she was watching! He wanted to impress Sakura, but couldn't seem to be able to handle doing two things at once, and in trying to perform his task while glancing over at her, he lost his footing and fell into harms way, yet again.

Sasuke was, of course, also watching him and promptly came to his rescue…again.

Needing to be saved made Naruto feel inferior, which in turn pissed him off. He yanked himself free from Sasuke's arms, cursing and grumbling about how he didn't need help. Datebayo.

Having dealt with the business of saving Naruto yet again today, Sasuke instinctively readied himself to respond to the obvious coo of glee that was sure to follow his daring rescue. However, he was further disturbed when Sakura shouted:

"Naruto!" Sakura had to struggle with every ounce of reserve that she had not to add the now honorific 'no baka' (stupid) to his name. "Are you okay?" She ran from her neglected task and approached him, pointedly not looking at Sasuke at all. It was really hard, considering how cute he looked when…all the time.

Kakashi suddenly felt weird and looked up from his book. He was so used to hearing the same thing every day that in hearing something different, he was certain that he'd have to have heard wrong. He decided to pay attention for a minute…just to be sure.

Naruto didn't know how to react to the sudden attention and just stood there dumbstruck.

Sakura worriedly examined Naruto, checking to see if he'd sustained any injuries, but couldn't restrain herself and accidentally glanced at Sasuke out of the corner of her eye. It was just for a second! She hoped he hadn't noticed. That would ruin her whole plan!

Sasuke noticed Sakura look at him funny and wondered why she would do such a thing. He was very confused. Not knowing what else to do, he went back to his task and pondered the whole scene over and over again in his mind, trying to figure out where things had gone wrong. Maybe she was mad that he'd saved Naruto? No. That couldn't be it. If that were the case she wouldn't have been looking so distressed about his near demise.

It was very distracting for Sasuke. In being so distracted, he'd almost forgot about his mission entirely and shamed himself for becoming so swayed in his resolve. He needed to stay focused on killing Itachi, not on some silly girl with a crush. That sort of thing was trivial and stupid and served no purpose in his mission.

Kakashi was wonderstruck. For the first time, ever, Sakura hadn't told Sasuke how cool he was…and she'd shown concern for Naruto? He knew that something had to be terribly wrong. For the rest of the mission he kept his guard up, and instead of focusing all of his attention on his perverted book he actually watched them. Well, he pretended to read his book of course. He thought he might disturb the fragile new balance his students had going if he let on that he was actually paying attention to them.

OOOOOOO

Team Kakashi performed the rest of the mission successfully and when the time came for them all to go home, Sakura said her goodbyes and left without another word.

Sasuke had already been on his way in the opposite direction and even upon hearing Sakura's farewell, still readied himself for what he knew was coming. It never came, but the whole way home he found himself still waiting for it. Why didn't Sakura ask him out? Why did she ignore him today? And what was that look all about? Had he done something wrong?

Sasuke had no idea. It was as if she was trying to…compete? For…Naruto's attention? Why? Why would she feel so competitive about the clumsy dunce? Suddenly, Sasuke found himself considering Naruto and whatever qualities he had that Sakura apparently found more interesting than him.

"Hmmm…Naruto…"

Naruto wore orange because he wanted attention. He was a loud mouth because he wanted attention. He liked to act dumb and crack stupid jokes and play tricks on people because he wanted attention. He was always smiling and happy…

Sasuke was never smiling and happy, and he had a good reason not to be. His own brother murdered his whole family and left him alive, alone and with nothing…nothing but murderous hatred and the unquenchable desire for revenge.

But Naruto was alone too…and nobody liked him…Was that why he wanted so much attention? He _did_ say that he wanted to become Hokage because he wanted everyone to recognize him. But…was it really the attention he was after? Or was it that…he wanted them to accept him?

People accepted Sasuke. They looked up to him. They treated him like he was someone special. Everyone liked him…

No one liked Naruto.

Sasuke felt bad. He wondered how Naruto was able to keep on smiling and being friendly with people when he knew they didn't like him.

'_Maybe Naruto is just…lonely. Maybe that's why he always tries so hard...' _

He suddenly felt a sense of kinship with Naruto that he'd never felt before with anyone…not even Itachi, his own brother.

He decided that the next day he would try to be nicer to Naruto.

Maybe they didn't have to be so lonely.

'_Maybe I should try to be his friend...' _

OOOOOOOO

Sakura made sure she looked as sullen and weak and dejected as she could before she stepped into the Yamanaka flower shop.

"Konichiwa! (Good afternoon!) Oh. It's you." Ino noticed Sakura's crestfallen appearance immediately. She was curious. "What's wrong, forehead-girl? Sasuke turn you down again?"

Inner Sakura wanted to reach out and strangle Ino pig for looking so smug about her comment, but she couldn't. She had other plans. Now that Ino's curiosity had been successfully peaked, it was time to execute phase two of her mission.

Sakura put her best obviously-fake smile on and sighed, "Oh, it's nothing…"

Ino was positive that something was wrong with Sakura. Very wrong. Sakura hadn't had a clever comeback ready and didn't even call her a pig! She felt implored to explore the matter further. "Are you _sure_? Because you look _awful_."

The pity in Ino's voice made Inner Sakura want to slap her and call her a pig, but she restrained herself. She didn't want to ruin her plan. It had been hard enough to ignore Sasuke all day and she'd very nearly ruined everything by looking at him. All she had to do was one last thing and phase two would be complete. She had to keep her game face on. Shannaro.

"Sasuke's…" Sakura shuddered and cupped her hands over her face, pretending to be besieged by the words she actually wanted so desperately to speak.

"Sasuke?" Ino perked right up at the mention of his name. What could be so upsetting about Sasuke that would reduce Sakura to tears? Sakura had never been discouraged in her pursuit of Sasuke, no matter how much he rejected her!

"Sasuke…is…" Sakura pretended to sob, digging at her eyes to redden them and get them good and watery.

"Oh my god! He's not dead is he?" Ino was sure that had to be that case. "Oh no! Oh god!"

Inner Sakura howled with laughter.

Sakura set the final wheel into motion. "He's gay!"

There was a long pause as Ino considered her melancholy friend and the information she'd just heard. She came to the conclusion that Sakura was lying. Sasuke was _not_ gay. Sasuke was the hottest guy in the whole village and wanted to revive his clan. The gods would never allow such a thing to happen. This was a new low even for pathetic Sakura. Ino was not going to fall for her schemes. She knew Sakura had to have some underhanded plan hidden in that big brain of hers and she decided to play along for no other reason than to see how long her x-best friend was willing to put up the silly charade.

While Sakura trembled and sobbed and wept, Inner Sakura grinned wickedly. The ball was rolling now. Ino had the biggest mouth in the whole village and she would surely spread the news like wildfire. All that was left to do was wait.

"Oh my gosh!" For a minute, Ino considered that maybe Sasuke had told her that to get her to leave him alone. That had to be it. She chuckled inwardly at Sakura's pitiable state, but feigned concern and wrapped her arms around her anyway. "Where did you hear something like that? Did he tell you?"

"No." Sakura sniffled and huffed, really laying it on thick. "I over heard some people talking about it…they said they saw him kissing a…a boy!" It wasn't even _really_ a lie. Sasuke _had_ kissed a boy. He kissed Naruto that day when they first became team seven. It didn't matter that they hadn't _really_ kissed. Everyone saw it and she _had_ heard people talking about it. She recalled her classmate's exact words:

"_Dude! You should have seen it! Narutard kissed the Uchiha and a bunch of girls kicked his ass!"_

It couldn't even be considered a little white lie! Everything she said was the truth! Well…except for the part about Sasuke being gay, but that didn't count because the nature of his sexuality was a matter yet to be determined. Sakura sat with Ino for a while and they talked. Sakura apologized for being such a bitch about liking Sasuke when she knew that Ino liked Sasuke first, and Ino apologized for letting a stupid pretty boy come between them. Then, Sakura said she was sorry for always calling Ino a pig even though she knew that Ino had issues about her weight, and Ino apologized for always making fun of Sakura's intelligence like being smart was a _bad_ thing.

And Sakura pretended to cry.

And Ino pretended to cry.

And suddenly they were best friends again. It was magical.

Then Sakura and Ino hugged their goodbyes and went their separate ways.

Inner Sakura was laughing at Ino for being stupid enough to fall for her clever ruse, and Ino was pitying poor pathetic Sakura for whatever dastardly scheme she had budding in that big mutant brain of hers.

Both of them were actually very happy.

OOOOOOOOO

Sakura arrived home and being very tired from her long day, she decided to hop in the bath to relax for a while.

While bathing, Sakura's thoughts drifted towards Sasuke. It was as natural as breathing. She'd only gotten to look at him for that one quick second earlier that day and that was disappointing…but at the same time, it kind of made the glance she got be that much more desirable. She tried to picture his face exactly as it been in that one instant.

How was it possible for anyone to look that good? His lips, his hair, his beautiful dark eyes, the way he just always looked cool, they all made Sakura's heart _flutter_.

Of course, one of Sakura's hands had slipped under the bubbles around the same time she closed her eyes and began conjuring his image. There was no denying that Uchiha Sasuke was yummy. Yes. Sasuke was very, _very_ yummy. "Mmm…"

Out of nowhere, Inner Sakura screamed, _"Hey! What do you think you're doing thinking about him! _

Sakura jumped up and screamed, not excepting the sudden shouting. "Geez! Don't do that!" she yelled at her reflection.

"_You're supposed to be thinking about Naruto! It's bad enough that you _looked_ at him when you weren't supposed to!"_

"I couldn't help it! He's just! So! _Hot!_ I had to! It was only for a second!"

"_You have to go on a date with Naruto tomorrow."_

"Why do I have to do that? Haven't I done enough?

"_To let Sasuke know that we are losing interest! If he thinks we want to start dating Naruto it will make him think about all those times he could have had us! Shannaro!"_

"Be we aren't losing interest! We want him more than ever every day!"

"_And that's why he keeps rejecting us! He knows it's readily available so he's taking it for granted. It's time we show him how desirable we actually are! Shannaro!" _

"But we are not desirable…" Sakura sighed. "We have small tits and a flat ass…we only have a big brain."

"_Don't get distraught! That defeatist attitude won't help us! We must be strong in our conviction! Shannaro!" _

"I just want to go on a date with Sasuke-kun! Why do we have to do so much work for it?"

"_Talk to Naruto as much as you can tomorrow and then when he's getting ready to leave for the day, ask if he'll walk you home."_

Sakura sighed,"Alright fine. I guess I kinda _have_ to now that we've come so far…" She got out of the bath, toweled off, and got ready for bed.

Tomorrow Naruto was going to go on a date with her and make Sasuke jealous. Sasuke was going to find out what it was like being ignored. Shannaro.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

End for now…no wait…one more thing…

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"Ah!" Kakashi exclaimed, "That hurts!"

"Aw, I'm sorry Kaka-poo, I just get so _excited_ sometimes..."

"I told you never to call me that."

"But I _like_ it…"

"I ha_aaaaay_…aah…ooo…that's_ nice_…keep doing that…yeah..."

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

End for now!

Next time: Naruto is confused.

Nya! Thanks to you guys who reviewed! (And to Smurf for the special imaginary tape! XD :glitters out glittering oreo's™: ) I hope this chapter was _at least_ as good (or bad) as the first.

The next part may take a little while to get finished…but I will try to get it out before too long and hopefully it will be at least as good (or bad) as _this_ chapter. XD


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